


A Glimpse

by Anonymous



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Ask to add more tags if needed!!, Assuming what's happening is a dream, Benrey is Autistic and probably also has ADHD, But it's Important and I want ya'll to know, Can we get an F in the chat for the poor lad, Cavity/Diabetes-inducing Fluff XD, ESRB Voice: Rated T for Touchy™, FLUFF!!, Gordon Aceman, Gordon has Anxiety and ADHD, Gordon is Pan, Gordon is Touch AND Loved starved, Gordon is also Trans, Gordon mostly uses they/them for him here tho for reasons explained in-fic, He/Themrey, Help girl I tried to keep the tags as succinct as possible but it goes against my nature XD, I'm gonna write a fic, I'm like 10 words away from 3000 I'm so flippin mad, In-Body Time Travel, It don't come up or anything, It gets a -tiny- bit touchy, It's Actually -drumroll- Time Shinanigans!!, It's not a dream, Joshua mentioned but he does not appear In Fic, M/M, MUCH More detailed list of Warnings and Explanations in bottom note for those who need it, Making Out, Not A Game AU, One-Shot, Pre-ResCas Gordon!!, Questioning Reality, Sharing a bed with someone one doesn't know, So basically we're on the Anxiety train XD, Sorry Benny boi, There's alot more kissin' in this than I was originally planning, Unknowing Time Travel, We only get Gordon's POV tho, We're in Gordon's Head the whole time, and i'm ok with that, cursing, that's SO Self-Indulgent, unreality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:20:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28582647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Gordon woke in the middle of the night to the familiar sight of his darkened room, the familiar feel of his bed, and the familiar sounds of his third story apartment.The weight on his chest, however, was Not familiar.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 6
Kudos: 88
Collections: Anonymous





	A Glimpse

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up on accident at 4:30am and while I was trying to get back to sleep I was hit with inspiration - After unsuccessfully trying to convince myself I could write it in the morning, _then_ unsuccessfully trying to convince myself to only write a few sentences and finish the rest later, I got up and hashed the majority of this out within a few hours XD
> 
> Plz Enjoy, my fellow Frenrey Enjoyers, my little Self-Indulgent, Certified Fluff™ Fic!! ;3ccc XD
> 
> **~*~**
> 
> Note for those who are worried about any of the more Serious Tags: PLEASE SKIP TO BOTTOM NOTE AND READ THE NOTE THERE IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH THE TAGS I LISTED/ARE UNSURE IF THIS FIC IS FOR YOU!!! I just want to be sure no one is sent in a spiral due to this fic that's meant to just be fluff!! (W/ a few tones of angst at the end XD) - Plz know your limits, and enjoy yourself!!

Gordon opened his eyes to the dark of his room.

He was in his bed, in the extra-puffy comforter he bought and sheets as soft as he could afford. Helped him sleep better. helped him be more Ok with sleeping.

The faint apartment-sounds he was used to hearing were all there, as well as the distant sound of the highway less than half a mile from his apartment building.

The weight on his chest, however, was Not familiar.

He felt his body tense slightly.

How on earth did someone get into his apartment? On top of that, why were they On him. . sleeping?? He thinks?? Are they asleep???? ( ~~ _Somewhere, way in the back of his mind, was a small voice screaming: WHAT ARE THEIR PRONOUNS?!? But while a valid thought it was neither a helpful nor a socially feasible one at the moment, so he elected to continue to use ‘they’._~~ )

The body on top of him shifted, lifting their head slightly to lay it back down on the other side.

Distantly he was aware that he probably should be freaking out more. That, if you wake up in the middle of the night one night and someone you don’t know and have never met once is laying on top of your chest, it is probably valid - no - _expected_ to freak out a little, maybe scream and throw off said someone and demand an explanation.

A soft sigh escaped the person's lips, as if they were right at home on this stranger's( ** _?!?!_** ) chest.

Distantly, he thought that maybe this is just _too fucking weird_ , and his mind was _way past_ the point of freaking out now. Even as this stranger sighs contentedly on his chest.

. . .

A thought occurred to him.

_What if they’re Not strangers?_

Where was he earlier tonight?? He couldn’t. . . Did he go out? Did. . . _Did he get drunk?? Did he. . Did he take someone HOME?_

HOLY _SHIT._

Gordon wracked his brain, _holy shit_ , trying to remember if he had Joshua this week or not. . .

" _Bro?_ "

The person on his chest raised their head slightly, upper body partly tense with half-awake.

It was too dark to see them, Gordon's glasses were on the nightstand ( _Were they??_ ) and the person was facing such a way he couldn’t make out any facial features. Just the top of a head of short, slightly curled dark hair.

They were clearly waiting for a response - They were. . . worried about him?

Gordon panicked slightly, thoughts producing: _Don't weird out the (frat-boy?!) stranger sleeping on his chest._

Yes. That is a normal thought.

After a moment he forced himself to relax with an exhale that actually managed to be less shaky than he felt.

"Yeah. . yeah, I just. . . just a weird dream is all." He added with a shaky half-laugh.

The other person didn't move ( _still worried for him?_ ), though, and without thinking Gordon brought his hand up and buried his fingers in their hair.

There was almost no reaction at first and Gordon didn't know why he was doing any of this or why it felt like second nature but he continued, "I'm Ok. I'm ok. I promise." soothingly, running his fingers through this other's hair over and over.

At that, after a quarter-heartbeat, the person relaxed, dropping their head back on Gordon's chest, letting out another sigh.

Gordon released a breath of relief in his mind. _Holy Shit_.

Holy shit he's in his bed, with a stranger who's concerned about him on his chest, as he's running his fingers through their hair and it's all being treated like a normal thing.

IS this a normal thing? Surely, he’d _know_ if it was a normal thing, right? One didn’t have this as a normal thing and not _remember it_ , right?

Was this. . some sort of. . One-night stand?

Do one-night stands get concerned over the other one-night-standee in, what, it's gotta be 3 in the morning?? He wouldn't know?? He’s never had nor wanted a One-night stand??? Where did he even go _FIND_ a one-night standee. . Holy shit was he _Drunk_? He hasn't blacked out since College, and-

He stopped and breathed in deep.

Slow the thoughts, figure out what's going on.

He closed his eyes and felt around his mind for a moment - No, he doesn't feel buzzed or like absolute shit, he hasn't been drinking.

Last he remembers he was doing some equations for work. . .

He was sitting at his dining room table, trying not to pass out over the papers. . . his pencil was starting to drag, he remembers. . being a bit upset some drool dropped onto the pages. . . wanting to close his eyes. . .

Wait. . .

Wait was. . Was this a Dream?

_Is he dreaming about a one-night stand?_

He almost snorts out loud at the thought. No, no that really isn't his _thing_ , he doubts he’d start dreaming of such things _now_ of all times.

He chuckles, feeling the thick, soft hair carding through his fingers.

This. . This is a Nice dream.

_This is so nice. . ._

. . .

Wait.

Is he dreaming about having a Boyfriend?

The thought hit him, eyes opening. He's dreaming about having a boyfriend.

He's dreaming about having someone next to (er, on top of) him on his bed, someone who's concerned about him when he's worried, who lets him card through their hair at 3am in the morning.

This. . This is a nice dream. His eyes slip closed again. This is a really, _Really_ nice dream.

He smiles.

What else will he dream, he wonders. What other things in this dream-world are different. . .

Perhaps he's not working so much.

Perhaps he sees Joshua more.

Perhaps him and dream-boyfriend get along really well.

Perhaps they help each other out, with chores and taking care of themselves.

Maybe they've been through alot together, but each time come out closer than before.

Maybe they watch movies together, engrossed with the screen, one unfamiliar with the movie while the other knows it well but is still enraptured. Maybe they whisper one-liners to each other until one cracks and throws popcorn, and the other throws back, then they throw popcorn at the screen and laugh and laugh and laugh. . .

Maybe they play video games together, maybe they already played games before they met. Maybe they share their favorite video games with each other. Maybe they stay up to all odd hours of the night together when their relaxed schedules allow. Maybe they sit on the couch, sides pressing together as they race, until one wins and cheers, whooping loud enough to to disturb the neighbors - They’ll probably get a noise complaint again, a fond thought.

Maybe the other laughs and pulls them down by the hoodie they stole for their victory kiss. . .

There's purring.

Gordon's eyes snap open _again_.

There's purring in the room,

_and it's coming from on top of his chest. . ._

Dream Boyfriend is Purring.

_Why the hell is Dream-boyfriend purring?_

It. . . somehow it didn’t feel like an out of the ordinary thing. . .

Maybe. . . Maybe Dream-boyfriend was an Alien?

Gordon snorted.

Haha, an _ALIEN Dream-boyfriend_.

Why stop there, he thought.

Perhaps, haha, perhaps one of his portal experiments had worked, and they found a way to open travel with some far off world.

Maybe it was a whole PLANET of boyfriends who purred. With at least One (1) of those boyfriends, apparently, being into him enough to date him.

And Gordon being into them enough back to be ok with them sleeping in his bed.

On top of him.

"Mmm _Gordon. . ._ " Alien-boyfriend on his chest whispered, half-asleep and drunk on contentment. The purring remained, emanating deep from their chest.

Gordon knew he always had a little ‘monster-lover’ in him, but this. . .

Gordon smiled as he continued to card his fingers through his alien boyfriend's hair, daring to press a little more, short hair shuffling around at more drastic angles.

This was nice.

Alien-Boyfriend shifted, tucking their face more under Gordon's chin, pressing their own smile into his neck.

This was _Real Nice_.

"I Love you." Gordon said without much thought, as if his mouth curved to form those words often ( _they probably did, this is his lovely alien boyfriend, after all_ ), eyes closed, wrapped up in this oh so nice moment.

This was a nice dream. A wonderful world.

Everything was ok here, things he did and efforts he made here came to fruition.

A world where he spent the night in his bed not regretting the day that had gone by - A world where he was loved, where he was cared for.

A world where he loved this being in his arms _So Much. . ._ \- It felt like this weight on his chest was proof that everything would turn out alright. _Like it was always meant to be this way._

"Love you too, _bro~_ " They whispered back.

Gordon chuckled.

'Bro', _ha_ \- Something about being called that by Alien-boyfriend tickled him silly.

Perhaps the people from this other planet spoke a different language and, haha, some words didn’t quite have a direct translation, and ' _bro_ ' was the closest English equivalent to whatever alien-boyfriend was actually trying to say.

Still chuckling, Gordon brought his other arm up, wrapping both of them around Alien-boyfriend tightly before turning them both sideways with a small thud on the comforter.

He loosened his hold on Alien-boyfriend, keeping tight enough to spoon them gently as he shifted into a comfortable position.

They nuzzled deeper into his chest if that was possible, slinking their arms around him back and tucking their face in tight. They hummed with delighted content, and there were suddenly some lights in the room. . .

He opened his eyes, staring directly at the glowing orbs that floated lazily over the both of them. Pink and yellow. . .

The lights. . . He didn’t know how he knew it, but he knew they came from Alien-boyfriend.

And that they do that _alot_.

A small chuckle, then a bigger one. Just your regular old Alien-boyfriend stuff, he thought. Other languages and things like that. Everything Alien-boyfriend does makes him laugh, makes him smile.

He wondered about the meaning behind these colors as they floated around the room, slowly dissipating. . .

. . .

Wait. . .

!!!

He!! Could read them!! The Colors!!!

After a moment of bouncing between the colors fading out over them, the translation (in rhyming form??) 'I'm as happy as can be' floated almost as lazily as the voice-orbs into his mind.

He lay there for a few moments, surprised and. . .

. . .

The. . . The thought of him being able to. . _read_ his alien-boyfriend's colors. . . _it filled him with more happiness than he could name, than he could ever hope to speak. ._

He screwed his eyes shut, reaching down and kissing the top of alien-boyfriend's head, earning more sleepy chuckles and pink and yellow lights.

It made him laugh, deep and real, and he kissed alien-boyfriend even more. More Colors!! More Happiness!!

There was another lazy chuckle and, before he could react, Alien-boyfriend shifted up and captured his lips in theirs.

Gordon let out a surprised squeak but quickly melted into it, not bothering to open his eyes, only acting and reacting to his partner - a practiced, comfortingly familiar push and pull of delight and endless affection.

Alien-boyfriend's fingers reached up into his hair, tangling through them before gently cupping the back of his neck, like it's where their hands were meant to be.

Gordon pressed the two of them together closer, closing the gaps between them, fitting one another, _Like they were Made for each other_ , trying to convey this with Kissing and _kissing and kissing. . ._

Alien-boyfriend whispered his name again, leaning close to his ear, as if even names were something they only shared between the two of them. It rang in his head, filling him with a drunk happiness and joy. _Gordon, yes, that’s me, Love!_

Gordon. . .

Gordon didn’t know Alien-boyfriend’s name.

He mentally froze for a fraction of a second.

_He doesn’t remember Alien-boyfriend’s name_ \- Surely he knows. . He _has_ to know it’s _Important_. . .

Somehow, within the fraction of a second his mouth moved of its own accord, mumbling something back in Alien-boyfriend’s ear.

He said something. A word, he thinks. Ok.

He said it again, and then again and again, hoping this dream-him who lived in a world of colored-lights and alien-boyfriends was giving Alien-boyfriend back their name.

_It was Important - It was so Important to make alien-boyfriend feel loved and treasured and cherished. . ._

Alien-boyfriend seemed satisfied, smiling against his cheek ( _Gordon kept Kissing and Kissing_ ). He whispered something else but Gordon missed it, too wrapped up in everything his boyfriend _was-_

They shifted, mouth slowly traveling back to his, trailing their lips along the way.

Gordon shivered. He snaked his hands under their shirt, up along their back ( _Everything about alien-boyfriend made Gordon want to touch him, to hold them and never let go_ ). Their back arced at the touch, their lips coming apart for a moment to release pink light.

Some of it traveled upwards, Gordon could tell as it slid past his eyelids, but some of it went _right in his moUTH-_

. . .

_It tasted like Raspberries._

That's. . .

_Huh. . ._

Alien boyfriend slowed, and part of Gordon's brain kickstarted at that ( _Memories of a time they would stop altogether, unsure how Gordon would react, looking away, eyes shaded, almost Ashamed. ._ ) and he pressed back hard, chasing down the flavor with more kisses and affection.

He wanted this. Needed this. His boyfriend's love, _Make his boyfriend feel Happy, It's oh so ok to be Happy, my Love. . ._

Alien-Boyfriend got the memo, chuckling as they released more of the sweet voice into the kiss with a melodic hum.

Distantly Gordon wondered how it all worked, and what exactly these lights consisted of, and the intricate details of how what colors mean what emotions. . . but he shoved aside the science part of his brain to make room for yet more kissing.

Sometimes there were more important things than the scientific method.

Like kissing.

He smiled into their lips.

And his Benrey was a _really_ good kisser.

The kissing ended all too soon, Alien-boyfriend pulling back ( _Gordon whimpered slightly_ ) but not going too far, resting their head less than an inch from his on the pillow ( _Much better, alien-boyfriend being close is a Good and much-wanted thing_ ).

They hummed, lightly donking their forehead against his as they spoke.

"Gotta, uh. . _sleep_ , Gordo.” - _donk_ \- “Picking up Joshie-boy tomorrow."

Gordon hummed a happy tune in response, head still buzzing with thoughts of kissing and Raspberries.

"No, _you_ sleep." He teased back, not really thinking about the words coming out of his mouth.

Alien-boyfriend chuckled and muttered something else, but it was lost as Gordon thought. . .

Joshie. . Joshua. . .

His son.

_**THEIR** son._

Gordon hummed brightly again, louder this time, unable to stop himself and the smile he had at the thought of Alien-boyfriend raising their son together alongside him. He reached his hand up and cupped the side of alien-boyfriend's face, pressing his palm gently over his ear and threading his fingers up into his hair like he's done a million times, tilting the both of them slightly to press their foreheads together.

" _I Love you._ " Gordon repeated again, would always repeat, earning another chuckle from his partner, a rumbling purr, and just a _bit_ of Sweet voice.

They gave one more kiss. Above his lips.

Happy. _He was so happy._

"Love you, too."

_He could live like this. . ._

_He could live like this_ **FOREVER** _. . ._

There was a silence, and Gordon could swear he _heard_ a mischievous grin.

"Now, _Sleep_."

The last thing he remembered was a soft high note, and blue lights from behind his eyes. . .

\---

Two weeks had passed, and Gordon Freeman more or less forgot about the weird dream.

He had woken up in his familiar apartment, in his familiar sheets, to familiar sounds.

There was no weight on his chest, there were no lights aside from the cracks of sunlight streaming in between the curtains of the bedroom window, no other sounds than that of morning traffic and people moving around on the floor above him.

He had woken to the familiar feeling of hollowness, like something was missing, and the not-too-foreign feeling of tears just starting to dry on his cheeks.

So he continued on like he always did.

He got up.

He had more coffee than he should have.

And he worked.

(Joshie was. . Spending a lot more time with his other parent. Something about Gordon being too wrapped up in his work, something about ending up with only a few weeks a year. . . Gordon tried not to think about it much, tried to push it from his mind, tried to forget the time slipping away. Tears were not a foreign thing, no, but he was trying to make them be.)

Soon everything about the dream was drowned in the humdrum of life and work. When the ghosts of it (less and less frequently) crossed his mind, he ultimately chalked it up to just being a nice dream. Nothing more.

He couldn't even remember what happened in it, anymore. . . ( _He woke every morning feeling hollow. . ._ )

So when a weird security guard stopped him on his way to a big test - the _biggest one_ in development so far ( _So much paperwork. . ._ ) - he didn't think much on how their voice sounded somewhat familiar.

Just about how annoying this whole thing was, how tired he was over all (All he said was ‘ _Howdy_ ’ PLEASE don’t take that as invitation to continue social contact), about how much he hated the very concept of passports at this very moment, and about how much time was being wasted, he’s just so tired _please_ he has a _TEST_ to do. . .

He was so tired, he didn't think much about Why he was so stubbornly concerned about this guard's safety, even as they annoyed him.

Or why he offered to catch him in his arms when he got 'stuck' on a ladder, somehow.

Or about the familiarity of that mischievous grin.

.

**Author's Note:**

> **~*~WELCOME TO THE BOTTOM NOTES!! THIS IS A DETAILED LIST OF WARNINGS + EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHAT'S GOING ON~*~**
> 
> I wracked my brain to think of Anything anyone might be concerned by in this fic, and Here's the list!!
> 
> There WILL be spoilers for more or less the whole thing, but I feel you can still enjoy it even if you know these spoilers!! If you need to read this first to ground yourself or check if this Fic is for you, It's All Good!! LITERALLY why this is here!! XD
> 
> This is secondarily for people who finished reading and want to 100% Know what's Going On!!! (If you interpret this fic Differently/Like it that way, then All the more power to you!! I'm just glad you Enjoyed it XD /u\\)
> 
> \- Gordon questions what's going on for a while/doubts his memory, and He Can and Does spiral a few times
> 
> \- He decides what he's experiencing is a dream and goes along with it
> 
> \- It's actually Not a Dream!! It's: Time Shenanigan Effery!!! XD - SPECIFICALLY The concept of time travel but one remains in their body - Basically, Future!Gordon and Past!Gordon switched places for a bit - In other words:
> 
> \- Ryan George Voice: "People living Non-Linearly is _Tight_!" (This doesn't actually happen to people, like, _Ever_ \- Sorry, people who want to skip forward in time and kiss their alien-boyfriends before they actually meet them - _smh_ \- Me too, me too)
> 
> \- As the fic goes on, Present(Our)!Gordon's Knowledge intermingles with things only Future!Gordon would know - THIS INFLUENCES HIM a bit from the beginning and then more as time goes on
> 
> \- Ryan George Voice: "Current Knowledge intermingling with knowledge obtained in the Future is _Tight_!" XD (AGAIN this is NOT a thing that happens to people!! No worries, it's all good.)
> 
> \- This knowledge IS FORGOTTEN when he returns to his OG place in time - It does, however, appear to influence his actions slightly - (THIS IS ANOTHER THING THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN TO PEOPLE!!) Spoiler, it does not, unfortunately, prevent the ending of HLVRAI ;c
> 
> \- Gordon does NOT KNOW BENREY at the start of the fic - He genuinely(/partly, see above^) believes Benrey is a DREAM/someone he made up
> 
> \- BENREY IS NOT TAKING AVANTAGE PAST!GORDON'S STATE!!!! They either: 
> 
> 1: Do not know the truth of what's going on with Gordon - to Him his established boyfriend had a weird dream, is worrying/thinking for a while about something, and then Gordon wants some hot kissin' before they make him go to sleep w/ Sweet Voice (In a way Future!Gordon has previously established as OK to use - There's a mutual trust in their relationship + it's not used in bad faith here! - Benny Boi just doesn't know this isn't quite _His_ Gordon (Yet)!! XD)
> 
> OR
> 
> 2: KNOW Gordon lives Non-linearly/he and Future!Gordon have both figured it out by then, but this time around he is too tired to realize they're dealing with a Past!Gordon, since Past!Gordon rides along convincingly enough to not tip them off - See #1 - (IF Gordon had started to truly Panic, Benrey would have explained everything/comforted him/No kissin' n' shit)
> 
> EITHER WAY BENREY DOESN'T KNOW THIS IS A PAST!GORDON AND IS TOO SLEEPY TO NOTICE WHO HE'S DEALING WITH!
> 
> \- Gordon ends the fic _NOT_ knowing what happened to him - He wakes up back in his original time/place in time, believing it all a dream
> 
> \- End is rather Depressing for a spell, but there Is Hope - That's part of what this fic is, after all!!
> 
> I hope these warnings were enough for those who need/prefer them, and Please let me know if I need to tag or warn anything else!! If you can't read this fic, it's ok, I promise :3 Please take care of yourselves, Treat yo'selves to something that ain't this fic!! XD
> 
> If you have any questions feel free to ask!!! I am Happy to clarify anything, Or even just Discuss Time Shenanigans for Fun!!! XD **ALWAYS 83** XD
> 
> **~*~**
> 
> And now for the Normal End-Notes!!! :
> 
> I LOVE time-shenanigans/The concept of temporarily ending up in your Future-Self's place, getting a glimpse of what their/your life will be/look like and such - There's just. . . _So much you can DO with it!!! XD AHHHHHHH_ Underrated™ version of Time Travel XD ( ~~. . . Wait, Didn't it technically happen in Canon?!?! LOLOL XD~~ )
> 
> I also like Kissing, and seeing my fav characters Happy X3
> 
> I may continue this, cause I have at least One (1) more Idea for it, but. . . We'll see though, Lolol XD 
> 
> Lemme know what you thought, or which part you liked best!! (If you'd like tom of course!! XD I'm up for ALL Sorts of discussions/Even hearing Other™ Takes on this Fic, tbh!! X3)
> 
> Also also Fun tidbit, I wrote the majority of this fic in Discord Messages + within one 4-hour session on my phone. I figure some of ya'll might find that funny - I do, Lol XD


End file.
